


Five Steps

by QueenPotatos



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, First Eremin drabble, M/M, Naked!Eren, Spoilers, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 04:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/pseuds/QueenPotatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from slutty-eren on tumblr</p>
<p>"Angst? Eremin? How about Eren feeling really guilty after everyone had to come rescue him and Armin just trying to comfort him but Eren just gets pissed"</p>
<p>Post snk 50</p>
<p>It starts in a shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Steps

 

When Armin entered one of the communal bathrooms of the old building, there was still a shower running - the one at the very end of the room. The most well hidden, far away from the exit, from the corridor, from the rest of their camp; hidden from the rest of the world...

 

Well, at least, what was left of the world.

 

The little blond walked very slowly towards the sound of water streaming through the rusty pipe, then landing on bare skin, and eventually falling to the half smashed tiles – the place was so badly maintained, it was an abomination to even make people wash here, to get naked and walk on the sharp and dirty floor. No one with a healthy brain would ever think to take a shower there.

 

That's exactly why Armin had come here in first place.

 

And so he went forward, carefully. Not because he didn't want Eren to hear him – his best friend already knew he was there, because it was Eren and it was Armin, and they always knew when the other was around; as if it were some kind of 6th sense or, maybe, they have been around the other for so long that their bodies knew the exact sound of each other's footsteps, the amount of air their bodies stirred by walking around, or the slight change in temperature that occurred with their presence. The pacing of their breathing. The faint rhythm of their heartbeats.

 

Armin knew Eren by heart. That's why he was deeply preoccupied. He knew there was absolutely nothing he could say to calm his nerves. Nevertheless, he was standing there all clothed, in front of a very naked Eren shaking under freezing water; not giving a fuck about what the other really wanted, not giving a fuck about the wrath he was about to face. He would probably get hurt in the process but he wasn't the one who needed assistance the most at the very moment.

 

Still, it didn't tell him what he could be saying to Eren. That's why he was walking in short, very short steps. It had never happened. Him not knowing what to do to calm Eren down. Neither to Mikasa, he assumed.

He smirked. Life was being really shitty these days. More than usually, he meant. Since the day wall Maria fell. Since the day Eren's mother died. Hannes had saved both Eren and Mikasa and now, because of him, Hannes was dead. Hannes, and all the other, countless of people, with shadow faces and unknown names; they have all died because of Eren.

 

Everybody had told him that it wasn't his fault. But it was all lies and Eren knew it. There was no way he, his best friend who had known him for so many years, could say platitudes to try to make him feel better when 1- It was false and 2- It wouldn't work anyway.

 

Truth was, Eren's life was the thing Mankind should treasure the most in order to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel one day. Unfortunately Eren wasn't the kind of guy to fall for something so cheap and soppy – and it was such a shame, really, because in Armin's bright blue eyes Eren was truly the most precious thing in the world, and he hadn't ever needed to know his true and only friend could maybe be the savior of humanity to make up his mind about it.

 

They were so used to have no single ray of hope that, just the thought of having the tiny opportunity to grasp one was more painful than any wound Titans could leave on their bodies or minds. Hope was making them miserable. That's why, most of the men inside the walls had none.

 

But Eren still had some. And it was eating him from the inside. Hannes died. Guilt and Hope were eating him alive. There was nothing Armin could do to stop that.

 

“Go away.”

 

His harsh tone was alarming. He couldn't see his soaked face but, he could easily guess what it might have looked like. Anger, despair, violence. Nothing he wasn't ready for.

 

He tentatively took a step closer. Eren clenched his fists against the wall. A second step. He groaned.

 

A third, small step, and drops of water wet his shoes. The room echoed with Eren's cry.

 

“Fuck Armin, I told you to leave me alone!”

 

He banged his fist on the wall nearby. Of course he wanted to be left alone. He wanted to be dead with them. It was too hard, too much to ask of a 15 years old lost and unstable boy. All this weight on his shoulders was preventing him from breathing properly, from moving like he wanted to. The thoughts of the dead ones, the sacrificed ones were paralysing him. It was particularly hard for Eren because he had always been a fighter, the very last one to surrender and tonight was just too much for him.

 

Armin had faith in him. So much that it was silly. He had always admired him. He wouldn't go as far as saying that he had always wanted to be like him, but there was something fascinating about this brown-haired guy in front of him, he noticed over the years. He had never really changed. The life in the training camps, the life outside the walls; after going through all these terrible experiences the anger was still there, his inflexible resolve hadn't decreased in intensity, his feelings were always as easy to decipher by a single glimpse on his face.

 

He envied it. The sorrow he could read at this very moment. Because when Eren looked up to meet his eyes he only saw Armin's blank gaze.

 

Something had broken inside him and, unfortunately, Eren was the only one with healing abilities. It was too late for Armin, too late for his hopes and scars, but Eren would be fine. He just had to make him feel better. He would heal.

 

With the fourth and fifth steps, he reached him, and closed his arms around his naked body. He still had his clothes on but he didn't care, he could afford to soak them. He didn't fear the cold, of the illness that might follow, the only thing that was frightening him was the emptiness he was feeling inside him that only Eren could fill. Or at least, he hoped so.

 

Maybe he didn't come here to cheer him up. Maybe he was the one who needed comfort. He was being selfish again, and Eren would probably never noticed. That's one of the things he liked about him, he could be so oblivious to certain matters – like how he never questioned their closeness, the daily discreet touching, the looks that lingered for a little bit too long, and always responded with a bright smile.

 

“Get. The fuck. OFF OF ME!”

 

He pushed him away, and Armin's back hit the tiles hard. He was relieved. At least there was still something he was able to feel.

 

He got back on his feet quickly and pulled Eren into his lap again. He was shaking, from cold or fear he couldn't tell, but it was probably from both. He was crying, too – he told him it was only the water coming from the shower but Armin knew him better - but that was a good news, a very good news. His fighting spirit was back. He was struggling, for something trivial but it was still a fight he was willing to take and to win.

 

He stroke his hair, his sides, his back. Left small kisses on his spine. He would probably never have the chance to hold him like that again so Armin made sure he was taking fully advantage of the situation – and then he was only half surprised to realize something had really changed in him.

 

Eventually Eren stopped moving and turned around to face him. He tried to look up, but quickly turned his gaze away, and hid his face in the crock on his neck. As he encircled his strong arms around Armin's belt, he finally spoke, in a calm, soft voice.

 

“You should get away from me, while you still have a chance.”

 

Armin stayed silent. He still had no idea what to say to him.

 

“You should go away. From the Scouting Legion, from the fighting, from the titans. You need to be safe. I want – no I...I...” His hold tightened, as if he was afraid of losing him forever. “I need you to be okay Armin, you understand that right? You are...everything to me. Everything that is keeping me sane. If I...if you...”

 

And suddenly the room wasn't that cold. His numb skin felt wet, and cold, and warm against Eren.

 

“Eren, how are you gonna keep going if I'm not standing next to you?”

 

Armin knew Eren like the back of his hand – he wouldn't be able to stand without him on his side, not after what had happened, not after Hannes death, and Mikasa's injuries. Maybe it sounded a little bit cocky, but it was indeed very true.

 

Eren started to cry again.

 

A few minutes later, they were dried and wearing their night clothes in front on the dorms. Eren stood in front of the door for what seemed like an eternity, not willing to face their question, their gazes, their judgment. Whatever Armin was saying to reassure his... his...friend - he wasn't really sure of _what_ they were anymore - he could still feel his nervousness. They were still holding hands and, secretly a tiny part of his mind wanted to believe that Eren wasn't opening the damn door to keep their hands entwined together a little bit longer

 

Eventually, he knocked. And swallowed loudly.

 

“Armin, promise me you will always be by my side.”

 

Jean opened the door before Armin had the chance to answer. Eren left him on the doorstep to argue with Jean again – it was part of their little routine, something they pretended to hate but loved so much, because it meant they were still both alive – and he couldn't have thanked him enough.

 

Because it was too late. The Armin that Eren knew and loved was gone. And there was no way he could hide it from him very long.

 

He faked a smile and followed them; the noise, the light, the voices, everything that could daze him enough to make him forget that he was gone, too.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

 

 

_(A moment later, he felt something on his right hand, grasping him with gentleness. It was warm, soft, familiar. It was Eren. He smiled at him, Armin didn't know why but he blushed, and didn't have time to hide his face._

 

_Soft lips were pressed against his._

 

_The world was spinning way too fast, his head was a mess but for the first time today Armin felt alive._

 

 

 

_Maybe it wasn't too late after all.)_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's not striking to the prompt but it feels nice that way.  
> I tried to make it angsty to the very end but I just couldn't. You know, they are my babies. I just can't make them miserable!
> 
> Hope you liked it!


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